| Hello old friend! |
[20 Mar 2011|01:28am] |
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mood |
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My old Live Journal account has served me well over the years...its been years probably since its last been used! But i have some back like i always do to spill my ever thought and feeling running threw my mind at this moment,and because i really dont have any friends or anything on this website i dont have to worry about people being dumb because of what i post. My mind is spinning in circles and i dont know what to do to make it stop! My emotions are running wild, and i think i am having some pretty big issues with paranoia and just thinking to much....i have sat alone with no one home and have a senarios just play out in my head....im afraid tylers cheating on me im afraid and have a strange feeling like i might loose my job for some reason...i keep have nightmares about my past. Ive just been the biggest basketcase in the world...aside from slicing at myself(im doing really good at keeping my self from that..sadly enough i have thought about it) im worried i feel like im a fucking teenager again and the world is out to get me...i hated being a teenager. I was always so sad and depressed. I feel like im falling right back into it though.
Im so afraid im going to loose tyler, because of how i have been i just would really love nothing more than to give him the world and make him the happiest man alive! It just doesnt seem to been working out so well...
I dont know what i would ever do if i lost him. I love him sooo much!!! He is the reason im still alive.. hes my world, my air, my warmth, He is what keeps me going every day...waking up to him every morning and knowing that he is still there is so comforting to me!
I need to get my shit straight. i used to never be like this(well puberty is a diffrent story)But for real.
Well journal you have served me well once again!
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| its been a minute |
[02 Feb 2009|03:39am] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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its been a while
i havent been on here in forever...
i guess i really havnet had the chance considering i am living out on my own now...
life is hard but i am taking it day by day
i cant complain =]
lots has happend but i am not sure where to start so i will get back to this later
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| its been awhile |
[08 Oct 2007|08:42pm] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
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i havent been on here in sometime
its kinda crazy.
life has been really weird
and im not to sure if i like it
but i live...
im watching law and order. wooooo
bahhhh
ok byesss
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| Schools out and im still here... |
[07 May 2007|02:48pm] |
soo if i want a ride home i have to wait here int he school lib. waiting for cassie and courtney to get doen typeing their papaers and im an not that sure of hoe long it is going to take
anyways soo my birthday is in 8 days and im pretty much excited and i think that my mom is going to let me have a party but im still not sure on that cause i dont know if i can get some people to pitch in any money to pay for the achole and if not i dont kow if my mom will have enough money to buy all of it her self haha
im going to be 17 im pretty happy about that
anyways in other news...last thursday my great uncle mike died and i didnt go to school friday because of it and yeah sooo my grandma who i dont like all that well flew up from florida and has been staying at my house and i dontlike it because she does not smell the greatest at all grossssss haha
bgut she should be leavig really soon i hope!! :]
my weekend sucked friday i really didnt do anything but cassie and nate stay and then saterday i went to my aunts
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| current events(school) |
[27 Mar 2007|07:50am] |
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mood |
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weell i htink that it is way way way to early to even be at school haha but i think all kids would say that
im in first period and it sucks we are doing a project board and we are looking up informtaion on our topic and i chose the mistakes many doctors have made and well i htink that i have enough information considering that i have experiance in the family a few times
and im only doing thid because i couldnt think of another topic and if i didnt i would have recieved an F on the project! and i really cant have that!!!
i am sooooo bored i havent really been in the best of moods here latly, i just kinda want to yell at every one. but i have just kinda been distanceing my self from everyone for the past two day it seems i really didnt talkt o anyone yesterday and if i did i made sure that i told them i was in a bad mood and then they didnt talkt o me
haha im somewhat of a bitch i guess. but you know what i think that they have the right to know what kind of mood im in sooo that they dont piss me off and i kill them
(even though i would never do such a thing haha but i might hurt them pretty bad)lol
i woke up today and my firend cassie who i love to death cause she is my best firned, was there and well it made me mad that she was there that early and she was eatting and making a wierd noise and when she took a dirnk of what ever she had it made me more mad bedcause of the noise that it was making and that was the only thing that i really could here haha but i was good an didnt say anything
spring break is really soon and i cant wait
me and tons of my firneds are going camping and its just going to be a big party for two days and theni dont know what im going to doo
but im really hopeing thati get to hang out with seth because we havent hung out in a while and i kindof miss him
he is going into the navy but really regrets signing up for it because he just doenst want to leave and he might not be going rgiht now (he was to leave june 25) but now he might not and he wont tell me why but it makes me a little happy
i kind of wish he would just get his head out of his ass and see that yeah i like him alot and he knows it because i have told him and i know he has to feel somethig ing return case he shows it when he stays the night all the time
im mean we fool around nothing big but i think that he is really scared to be with me cause he knows that hee has to leave and he will be going for four years
i dont know i think im thinking in to thingd a little much
and i feel like a retard because im posting everything that im thinking on here for anyone to get a hold of and i ddont know if i want everyone to read this but im guessing its a little to late !
sooo im just going to go on its a little retarded but whatever
i really need a job haha thats what i need i havent had a job in a while and im poor and i cant help pay for anything and its makingit really hard on my mom!!! i feel horrid for always doing this to her im 16 i should have a ob and be halping out with my mom considering that she has MS and doesnt get the much money coming into the house because she cant works so social securty is her souce of incoem and sometimes child support from my dad and my sisters dad!!
newyas im going to go casue i feel silly going on and on and on sooo i will type later bye and have funn reading my journal and all my problemsss
xoxoxo tracy
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| science!!! |
[22 Mar 2007|02:16pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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ok so im in school its a nice day outand i hate not being outside
i really wish school would just llet out all ready but i only go a little bit of time left and i am sooooo greatful fro that
uz after school i get to hang out with cassie billy and this other kid named mike
and well we are going to go to cassies house and play guitar hero all night maybe and even drink a little 100 proof soco haha fun fun
but i dont kow we might even go to the mountain
but its not a for sure thing yet
man it is sooo hard to do this in school the teacher will yell at me but really cant keep my mind on the school work today with it being soooo nice out
soo yeah one more day till im bored all fucking weekend cause i am going to my dads and they really dont let me do anything there man i am fucked
haha no funn for tracy this weekend
normaly i might go to larrys or somehting
so yesterday i had my third sergury this year
aint that amazinghaha no not really i hate having sergury and now my hand is brused from the iv i had in it yesterday
the lady that wwoke me up slaped me sooo i got mad and yelled at her
i wias like if you wanted me to wake up u shouldnt slap me cause i will it you back
and she looked at me like i was stupid or something and so i fell back to sleep
teach her to wake me up stupid bitch
haha i hate people sooo much
but untill a later date i am going to go i will see you all later
ily
bye bye
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| soo |
[09 Mar 2007|10:23am] |
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mood |
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anxious |
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i really havent been on here in some time and im not sure why
i have had a nice year so far
haha considering i think it has been that long the last time i was on here
i have had lots of parties and haha
i like this new boy that i have liked for ;ike i dont kow how many years hold on let me count.....5 years
and well lets just say that that is going pretty good he says at my house mor ethan any other of my friends that are girls doo
and we always have fun
acctually he has stay every night this week and haha yeha i dontk now what eles to say bout that
nothing really bad though
sooo yeah
my moms birthday is today and im really happy for her she is 35
yeah i know she is still sooooo young but hey oh well she was 18 when she had me
school pretty much sucks and i hate this paper i am doing right now or going to be doing
i love the fact that the school has clocked every other site but this one
there is no myspace or people grade or tagged or vampire freaks nothing great like that but this is a great site too dont get me wrong
hah i almost forget all about it though
well i am going to go if i get borred again i will get back on maybe
until then xoxoxo
tracyy
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| yeah |
[01 Oct 2006|05:55pm] |
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mood |
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distressed |
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hi how is everyone doing i haven been on this thing in such a long time.....i think last year wsa the last time i was on this but what ever.... yeah i have been working my butt off here latly and i have no time to do anything with my friends or my family and im sad about that... i think everyine is mad at me because i havnet had time for them here but i think that they will all get over it some time.... i have had the strangest day. i dont know how hot u can look in a subway uniform but i had a lot of people hit on me today its a little weird it think! k well im going to go bye everyone
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| spring break |
[07 Apr 2006|10:42am] |
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mood |
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content |
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yeah im at my dads just waiting for my sisters to get home and we are going to go watch megan play softball yeah i really had a bad day yesterday but im feeling a little better today and thats awesome so yeah bye ♥
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[09 Feb 2006|10:16am] |
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i yet again am in study isladn and well i really wish i wasnt.....i am on 50 dif kinds of meds and wow its crazy! yeah k bye
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| studyisland |
[01 Feb 2006|12:07pm] |
im in the study island room at school and i cant wait till i get this done and over with becaus i really dont want to be here right now but i have lunch next so yeah
any ways i think that ashley thinks i am mad at her or she is mad at me i dont know today has been pretty shitty but what can u do
yesterday i think that cassie got mad at me or waht ever
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[14 Jan 2006|06:36pm] |
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mood |
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ditzy |
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im at my dads just chillen talking to people and stuff i went to my brothers b-ball game and he lost but did really good they only lost by about 9 so thats all good!now im trying to get things all right and stuff but i am in a good mood.... like about 30 min a go i got up to do something and i could not fel my leg at all and i fell
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[13 Jan 2006|04:05pm] |
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mood |
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crazy |
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yeah i am at my dads now chillen with my lil brother and talking to people and stuff and after i gewt off the computer i am going to play a game of life with my lil brother and its going to be fun and i am going to beat him!he just gave me that and told me i was going to los!lol bye
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[13 Jan 2006|08:58am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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i have just finished my exam for my word pross class and that means this is the last day i will be in here yeah!... i hate this calss and the teacher sucked!.... anysways yeah i have 2 more exams today and then i am doen i am so happy i get to go home at 12:00 and just relax!bam that sounds so good! k bye
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[10 Jan 2006|08:21am] |
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mood |
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yay! |
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good bye to all for now i will be back an other day just not this one!
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[10 Jan 2006|07:58am] |
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mood |
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yay! |
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i am in a very good mood today and well when i got to school this morrnign bender took my pictures and started to look at them and make comments that only he would make, and then this really hot guy came over out of no where and started to look at them too and the whole time i was just sitting there wondering why in the world does this shit happen to me? lol well yea k bye!
oh wait cassie DONT TAKE THAT NOTE THE WRONGE WAY!
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[09 Jan 2006|07:51am] |
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mood |
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amused |
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i had a nice weekend and the only thing wrong with me today is that i am sick... but yeah!
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[06 Jan 2006|07:45am] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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man i hate it when people belittle me i am so mad right now......but i wont say anything cuz shes my ride home.... and then when i try to talk to her she wont even listen and when i say something she yells at me and is all like i was to listening ....pisses me off
anyways its the weekend and im glad.. next week is the exams and well then im out of this shit of a class!
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[05 Jan 2006|07:50am] |
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mood |
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happy |
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happy in a good mood nothing eles to say!
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[04 Jan 2006|07:46am] |
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mood |
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ditzy |
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man i woke up late today andi was in such a hurry but its all good i madfe it in time! anyways my firned erik the one i like well he called me yesterday and told me he got his hair cut i freaked out i know its not my say but he had such cool hair...eneryone seems to be in the mood to do that
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